1. Bismillaah was salaatu was salaamu ‘Alaa rasoolillaah,

    As Salaamu ‘alaykum wa rahmatullāhi wa barakaatuhu,

    JazaakAllaahu Khayran ya Ustaadh for this Khutba. I was wondering about the specific ways to be dutiful for a long time. You gave me a great idea, baarakAllaahu feek! I combined it with an advice from Shaykh Abdullaah al Bukhaari hafidhahullaah who said to reflect everyday and review ourselves by writing, and I thought a good way to incorporate that into this would be to keep a notebook especially for my parents where I write a checklist of goals everyday of things I want to do for my parents everyday by the time I get to bed. May Allaah grant me the success and save me from being the people who die with both their parents anger and Allaah’s anger. I wrote all the points down, please if anyone benefits, keep me and my parents in your adiyah and pray that Allaah saves me from disobedience to Him and my parents. JazaakAllaahu khayra

    Points from the Khutbah:

    1. Educate ourselves regarding the station Islam has given our parents.
    2. Have good manners when you address your mother and father. Speech which is good and not disrespectful. (Regardless of where you are living, remember you are a MUSLIM. You don’t disrespect your parents.)
    3. Be obedient to them in everything except in disobeying them in deen and even then, explain to them in a befitting manner.
    4. Try to bring happiness to their hearts, whether it is by bringing them presents, or helping them do something they love, like reciting. Strive as much as you can daily, think what you can do as you know your parents better.
    5. Take care of them be there for their needs! If you will not be there for them, then by Allaah nobody will be there for them. Be there for them in their old age, their sickness, their disability and their poverty.
    6. If your parents are ignorant about certain affairs of the deen and Allaah has blessed you with knowledge, then teach them in a manner which is respectful and be patient with their ignorance. Do not become bored. Always keep trying. Especially if you have non Muslim parents. Sit with them and invite them to Islam. Shaykh al Fawzaaan hafidhahullaah said about the mother of abu hurayrah radiAllaahu ‘anhu that one of the reasons that she accepted Islam is because of how kind and gentle her son was with her. Also the Prophet peace be upon him with his uncle, here is an example as he called his uncle up to his death bed.
    7. Those who are married, then visit your parents often, phone them as much as you can. Be close and do not be estranged. If you keep regular contact with friends and colleagues, your mother and father have more haqq than them!!
    8. Give them the complete salam. That salam is dua, when you leave say the salam, the complete salam. Whether you live with your parents or not, when you leave the home, you need to let your parents know and you need to say I am going and I am going to such and such place. This is from having good manners.
    9. When you speak to them, especially in gatherings where there are others around, address them with respect, do not call them with names like “old man”, not when you are alone and certainly not around others. Preserve them, their family name, and don’t bring disrespect to them.
    10. Fear Allah with regards to their wealth, do not take from them unlawfully.
    11. Make dua for your mother and father.
    12. If you are living with them, then if they sleep at a certain time, then respect that. Don’t make a racket.
    13. When you enter a gathering, or a sitting, don’t sit before your parents. Let them sit first. Give them that respect. If you are in an area where there is no space, get up and let them sit. These are all things that bring the hearts closer.
    14. Spend on them, pay for their umrah, pay for their hajj according to your ability. Help them in that sense. Help them do good deeds. Also regarding wealth, If they are struggling, they are entitled to your wealth. Give from what Allaah has given you. Make sure they are eating. Don’t be comfortable in your home and eating in luxury whilst your parents are struggling. Shame on you if that is happening.
    15. Be proud of your parents, don’t belittle them for being poor or illiterate, for not having a car, for picking you up from school by walking. Be proud of who your parents are because Allaah from his hikmah chose them to be your parents. Be proud of that as it is sufficient as a reason.
    16. Be quick to say sorry to your mother and father. We all fall short. There is no shame in kissing them on their hand, holding their hand, saying sorry and apologizing for what happened. Say that you didn’t want to hurt them and that you are sorry, and it won’t happen again in sha Allaah, So forgive me. Sometimes these simple statements and actions breaks down all the negativity.

  2. Asalaamu alaikum wa Rahmatullaah.

    Just came across this now. A beautiful, beneficial khutbah full of guidance and inspiration, delivered in Abu Idrees’ usual gentle, encouraging demeanour, may Allaah reward him, ameen.

    As someone who has elderly parents and always wishing and praying to remain a dutiful daughter, I loved how this broke it down simply and clearly how one can do this…until we can see for ourselves how one is nowhere near fulfilling the title of ‘dutiful daughter’, how we can better our role so much more and being aware of just how severe in sin the neglect is. Alhumdulillaah for a beautiful khutbah / source of guidance. JazaakAllaahu khayran

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