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[02/02/2024] Avoid the Causes that Lead to Talaq (Divorce) – By Abu Khadeejah ‘Abdul Wahid حفظه الله. Khuṭbah at Masjid Salafi, Small Heath, Birmingham, UK.
Some points discussed during this Khuṭbah:
- The calamity of divorce becoming increasingly widespread in Muslim communities in these times.
- The reason Ahlus-Sunnah, especially the righteous, deal with discord better than the people of desires and sins.
- The importance of cautioning people from the dangers of divorce and its negative outcomes.
- Encouragement from the Book of Allāh for spouses to live in goodness and close the avenues of divorce.
- The Messenger’s ﷺ command for men to take care of their women in a goodly manner.
- The patience and tolerance of ‘Umar regarding how he dealt with his wife and advised his daughter (رضى الله عنهم).
- The inevitability of discord, and the course of action when it occurs.
- The terrible effect of divorce upon the children.
- Iblīs’ love for families to be destroyed.
- Admonition for the women who mistreat their husbands and unjustly pursue divorce.
- Eight causes of discord that lead to divorce:
- 1. Not taking care in the first year of marriage.
- Preventing future harm by asking the right questions before marriage, and examples of questions that should be asked.
- 2. Evil eye or magic.
- A sign that a marriage has been afflicted with evil eye or magic.
- Means of protecting oneself and one’s spouse from these evils.
- 3. Some husbands do not take the responsibility of the family and married life seriously.
- The obligation for men to provide for, nurture and protect their families.
- 4. They do not share the responsibility in nurturing and raising the children.
- The necessity of both parents working together to raise their children.
- 5. The husband always being out of the home, even after work.
- Likewise the woman always being out of the home or wasting time on her phone.
- The importance of spending time together.
- 6. The constant interference of in-laws and relatives.
- Being on guard regarding irreligious and sinful relatives.
- 7. The wife overburdens her husband beyond his ability.
- A warning against disobeying one’s husband due to being discontented, and encouragement to be patient, supportive and content.
- 8. The man takes custody of the wealth of his wife.
- Actions that are not acceptable from a man towards his wife.
- The Messenger’s ﷺ address to his camel driver Anjashah to be gentle when driving the camels that carry the fragile vessels (i.e. the women).
- Advice to men to take care regarding how they interact with women.
- Qualities parents should be instilling in their daughters.
- Striving to make the relationship work when discord arises.
- Seeking marital advice and making du’ā for ourselves and our spouses.
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Great reminder, needed especially during these testing times for many couples. May Allah enable us all to benefit.